When writing a novel, how can a character be developed well, but QUICKLY?

“I’m serious!” Claire said. “It’s staring straight at me.” She let the curtain fall. “Weird.”

May yelped. “Hey! Your feet are cold!”

“Exactly.”

As a friend of Megan's who also watches Suits, would you advise her not to return to the show in order to protect her character's reputation?

“It’s a cat. All cats are weird.” May sipped from her mug, inhaling the warmth. She closed her eyes. The room spun. She opened them again. “Ugh. I think I drank too much.”

“I don’t know. Partying. Going to a pub. Anything besides sitting on the couch reading…” She squinted. “What the hell are you reading?”

“Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs!” Claire turned the book around.

How do women feel when they are in love?

“You know what? Never mind,” May said. “I am way, way too drunk to be having this conversation.”

“Yes way. It’s washing itself under the street light. Uh-oh, I think it spotted me. It knows I’m watching it. I swear it’s looking at me.”

“You need some tea!”

Why did Cartman love Heidi purely with heart, her being the first one he ever did, but then one day Butters tells him that all women are manipulative and then he began to believe that she was a bad person and pretended to be a victim?

“I need to do laundry.”

“May! You’re home late! Early, I mean. Well, I mean, it’s early in the morning, but you’re home before I expected. Er, after. Before?”

“About wearing more clothes? How am I supposed to catch any fish if I don’t show off the bait?”

What do you love to do at night when you’re alone?

“Claire! Why are you still up?”

“Nary a cute boy in sight.”

“You don’t need a cat. You can’t take care of a cat. You can’t take care of a ficus.” Claire flopped on the other side of the sofa and wriggled her feet beneath May.

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

“Hang on, are they playing ping-pong?”

Do that and you can ground your characters quite quickly.

“Perv.”

What are the pros and cons of banning homosexuality?

“Well, maybe if you didn’t spend all day reading—” May prodded the book with its garishly-coloured cover with her foot. “Bizarre comic book porn…”

Engaging in conversation that also shows something about their intelligence, personality, wit (or lack thereof); and

“From the look of you, if you try to sleep now, you’ll spend the next three hours hanging onto your bed trying to stop the world spinning. Since you’re not going to sleep anyway, you might as well keep me company.”

Why is Eric Clapton so roundly disliked among guitarists?

Here’s how we presented the character Claire when she was introduced, which the agent particularly singled out:

“Number one, it’s not porn, it’s ecchi, and number two, why would I waste a perfectly good Saturday doing anything else?” Claire pulled at her tea and sighed. “The only thing that could make this day better is if you'd come home with some cute boy, so that after you kicked him out tomorrow I could live vicariously through you.”

“No, about the cat. You don’t need a cat. You remember what happened to your spider plant, right?”

What are some tips for making your husband fall madly in love with you again after going through the worst phase of your marriage?

May pushed Claire’s feet away. Claire rose to peer out the window. “Huh. It’s still there.”

Doing something they enjoy, that expresses their personality, and that is in some way unusual or noteworthy;

“Fine.” May collapsed into the warm spot Claire had just vacated.

What are some life hacks for living on your own?

“No way.”

“Nope, I mean a cat followed me home. A black cat, to be exact. All the way from the club. Probably still out there, for all I know.”

“Yep!” Claire chirped. “There’s this schoolboy, see, and he’s homeless, so he lives in this boarding house that used to be a hot springs bathhouse, which is cheap because it’s haunted, so he decides—”

Can a 40-year-old date a 20-year-old?

“Thanks. You’re looking pretty ratty yourself. Have you been in that bathrobe all day?”

“I know! That’s why I’m putting them under you!”

“I’m glad my sex life is so entertaining.”

Do you agree that firearms are the most common weapon used in homicides of spouses, intimate partners, children or relatives? Should this data influence gun control policies?

“I’m just a fan of your catch and release program.”

“None of those either. Look upon the wasteland that is my sex life, and see that it is barren. Naught but a moggie followed me home.”

After Eunice and I finished London Under Veil, I entered the first chapter in a contest at a convention where you could submit something and have it critiqued by a professional book agent.

What was the first Native American tribe to inhabit Long Island, NY?

Claire, one of May’s three flatmates, former university roommate, and best friend in all the world, shrugged expansively. “It’s a Saturday night. What else would I be doing?”

“I try not to, but thank you for reminding me. I know I don’t need a cat. I don’t want a cat. What would I do with a cat?”

“So you didn’t meet any cute boys at the club tonight?” Claire called as she bustled about the small kitchen.

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

Essentially, what you do is show the character:

“Exactly.”

“I’ll put the kettle on.”

“Damn straight. So get to it! This time next week, I want to hear some moans coming through that wall.”

“Cute girls?”

“But they’re cold!”

Claire sat back down, legs tucked elegantly beneath her. “You are looking a bit sloppy,” she said, inspecting May through narrowed eyes.

In the kitchen, Claire set out a battered pair of mugs: May’s black, with “PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair” in white letters; Claire’s white, with “This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays” in dark blue. She carried both mugs into the living room. “A moggie followed you home? Is this some weird Internet slang I’m not current on?”

Create a context between this character and other characters.

“Well, maybe if you’d wear more clothes, they wouldn’t feel so cold. Hussy!”

“They are! He broke the rules of the boarding house by petting this character while she was in cat form, so they invoke the ancient rules of single combat via ping-pong, and—”

The agent had only one bad thing to say (the synopsis was crap; writing synopses is hard!), but praised the characterization and particularly how well we introduced a character’s personality quickly.

“Tart!”

“Claire, I—”

“Why is that always your first suggestion? I do not need some tea. It’s three o’clock in the morning! If I have tea, I’ll never get to sleep.”

May studied the black and white comic panels. “Oh, my. She looks…anatomically implausible. What is she doing to that poor man? Wait, are those cat ears?”

“It’s not looking at you.”

They both burst out laughing. “I’m right, though,” Claire went on.